Thursday, May 16, 2013

Lost in the Fog

I don't know. The answer I seem to have to just about everything these days. Lately, it feels like I'm suspended - trapped - in some sort of weird nether region where ambiguity looms as a dark shroud that lingers in perpetual twilight. When I try to make moves, I can't tell if I'm coming or going. Or whether I’m going too fast or moving too slow. Everything is blurry. There used to be a time when I would just flip a coin and let chance decide. Now, there isn't even a visible crossroad to hang me up on my decision. Everywhere leads to nowhere and somehow the pieces just aren't fitting together. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of things. And now I have to change focus, realign my vision, or do whatever it takes to try and get that back. I realize that if, for whatever reason, this should happen to be my last post then it has the potential to be a very rotten one, but right now it's all I've got. At the very least, I wanted to give a special thanks to everyone that tagged along and love to all that cared. It's been a hell of a ride.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Falling Down

Something’s not right here. It’s not supposed to be this way. I’m always three steps ahead, yet lately I feel like I’m struggling to keep up. I try to make progress but I keep falling down. Then every time I try to pick myself the weight gets heavier and heavier. Like quicksand. The harder I struggle the faster I sink. But I can’t just give up. I feel like the answer is right in front of me but I just can’t see it, or it’s just out of reach. I realize that everyone can’t expect to have the fairy tale ending, but I know that my story doesn’t end like this. Not like this..

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Slumdog 101

Tips for surviving in the slums..
  1. Never talk about somebody's Mom.
  2. Crack is wack.
  3. Whatever it is you thought you saw, you didn't see it.
  4. Always carry tissue in your pocket (just trust me on this one).
  5. Always have exact change
  6. Never borrow or loan.
  7. Never pay full price
  8. Don't get caught.
  9. Maintain hood credibility.
  10. Keep your f---ing mouth shut.
Follow these guidelines and your standard of living will increase dramatically.

Saturday, September 8, 2012


Well, I had to watch someone get the living hell beat out of them. Generally, a bout breaks out every couple of days or so but I don’t think that I’ve ever seen anyone get beat down this bad. Not by one person anyways. One word that will echo in my memory banks for a very long time..


If I were him I surely would not have entered that duel. It was a clear mismatch. He might as well have been fighting a young Mike Tyson (pre-tattoo). Word of advice for those that make a practice out of engaging in altercations, don’t start one if you know that you’re too drunk to handle yourself. You’re not going to win. Especially if the other guy is sober, and younger, and faster, and stronger, and probably a better fighter, and (list continues..). After witnessing the repeated crushing blows of fist-to-face contact my heart actually started to go out the guy, but it’s the code of the streets. Two men have to resolve their own differences man-a-mano. I’ve got to hand it to him, though. Outside of the numerous pleas for mercy he pretty much took his beating like a man. It looked like the other guy was even going to cut him a break, but that notion quickly dissolved with two words..

“No.. knockout”

I can’t say that he quite got that knockout that he wanted. But, since he was standing over top of him pretty much pounding his skull into the concrete I’m going to have to go ahead and rule this one a TKO.

So, what have we learned here, Today. Well, the moral of this story is pretty simple. Slumdog 101. When you’re in the hood..

Keep your f---ing mouth shut.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wild, Wild West

The other night I wandered into what I now refer to as gunslinger territory. Anytime someone draws a pistol in the middle of the street, you know that you have entered that classic scenario of WRONG place at the WRONG time. He even went as far as to try and conceal it in what appeared to be some sort of small wooden box. Probably as a camouflage, but most likely as an impromptu suppressor, although I doubt it would have done much good had he pulled the trigger. This is the part where you mind your own business. Heroes aren’t welcome on the streets. You don’t get a medal or even a Thank You. All you get is dead. And the next day nobody cares. You’ll just be a distant memory, or even worse, remembered as the one that didn’t have the good sense to mind his own business. Besides, the situation could easily be recognized as a crack deal gone bad and it's never a good idea to get involved in one of those. Unfortunately, these are the reasons why I know that I have to travel alone. I don’t care much about what happens to me, but if by chance something were to happen to someone I that really cared about I know that I would never be able to forgive myself. When you find yourself in delicate situations that require split-second decision making you can't be certain that you will always make the right one. Someone else shouldn’t have to pay for my poor judgment. So, I’ll just have to try and keep it simple for now. Stay alert, stay focused, stay to myself. At least until I can figure this mess out.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Can you hear me now? Not good..

When I tell my peeps that I'm having phone troubles, I don't think I really do a very good job of explaining the situation.  I'm sure that by now I have a voicemail chock-full of the good ol' "Why haven't you called?"  So, I'm writing this one to sort of illustrate what I'm working with and hopefully paint a better picture.

This is my phone. The Samsung a800..

If I had to guestimate I would say that I've had this phone for close to 10 years and it has the battle wounds to prove it..

Coming apart at the seams (literally)..

When I shake it there's this rattling noise which I can only assume to be the antenna bouncing around inside because when I turn it on all I get is this..

..there are a few pockets throughout the city where I can snatch a bar or two and ironically shaking it is how I often achieve that.

Both of the charger ports are broken..

So, I have to take the battery out and "clamp" it onto this battery charger thingy that I picked up at a Mom 'n Pop shop..

When I'm not making a desperate attempt at communication I have to keep the phone powered off. While "looking for service" the screen stays lit and completely drains the battery. Then, I have to repeat the process of charging the battery which as you can see is not at all a delightful task.

It could be that I am a bit sentimental toward this phone, but I still cannot label it a piece of crap. For nearly a decade this phone has suffered more abuse than Tina Turner and like the Terminator it keeps coming back for more. Something I can say for most of the Samsung products I encounter which makes me a loyal customer.

Samsung gets the Nomad..

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Stay Driven

There was a lady that I would meet from time to time. I simply adore her. She was never at a loss for words and always had a good story to tell which is a good thing for me since I really do enjoy listening to people. Poor thing had just lost everything and did not know what to do with herself. She was a realtor in the Beverly Hills/Santa Monica area dealing million dollar homes and mansions and now she is just as poor and homeless as the rest. A true testament that the long arm of poverty can reach just about anyone. She once told me a story of one of her adventures in realty. While her coworkers all drove fabulous rides like Mercedes Benz and BMW she had but a mere modest SUV. At the end of a showing, she would often lean on a vehicle other than her own as if to pose as it belonged to her. This usually worked except for the one time that it backfired and the car that she was leaning on turned out to be the client’s so needless to say she was BUSTED. But the guy was really cool about it. Even shared a bit of wisdom that she will not soon forget and neither will I..

It’s not what you drive, it’s what drives you..

Words to live by.