When I arrived in L.A. it was about 3am in the morning. I had to leave late due to some issues buying the ticket from greyhound. I didn't have any place to go at that time of the night/morning and I knew there was nothing open or nothing I could accomplish that late/early so I basically camped out in the station for the night. When daylight broke I began my journey of searching for somewhere to stay. I don't think people realize the level of candor involved when I say I make it up as I go. Sometimes I really do just throw my bag over my shoulder, cross my fingers, and let fate decide. After failed attempts at shelter all day it was beginning to look like I was about to check into Hotel Sidewalk, but I guess I caught a break. I've have strange luck, it's either really good or really really bad, nowhere in between. While chatting with some lady (more like letting talk my ear off) I brought up shelter. I guess maybe I have a certain charisma about me because she darted around and started drawing information for me, then out of nowhere some guy overhears and offers me his bed ticket at one of the missions (which are VERY difficult to come by) and just like I have a place for a week, the exact amount of time I was looking for. I'm a strong believer in signs. This strange coincidence happened for a reason and I think I am beginning to realize what it is. Fate has decided to pin me down into doing the one thing I have refused to do all of my life. The painful kryptonite I am now forced to endure every day. ..CHURCH.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to sound ungrateful for the opportunity to be off the streets for a week, but me and church just have a bad history. On top of being looong and boring I guess you could say I have run into some bad experiences as a child. I don't like to go into the details of my past a lot, so at the risk of sounding whiny I was beat a lot by the pastor of my church. A memory I have been able to successfully repress until now (thanks a lot blog). Turned out I asked too many questions or I guess the wrong questions which was cause for a holy whipping to beat the devil out of me..literally. I've always had problems following blindly into any religion and to this day they can't stop me from asking questions. Here is one I have for them every time:
Why Your Religion Q&A:
Me: So let me get this straight, no matter how much good I do in the world, if I don't join your religion I'm going to hell??
Mr. Born Again Christian: Yes
Me: What about all the Buddhist Monks and other peaceful religions? What if they are good people?
Mr. Born Again Christian: They are going to hell to.
Mr. Born Again Christian: Because they are not saved.
Your score: F
No thank you sounds like a crock to me. I’ll stick to Nomadism. Chapter 1:Verse 1 - Treat people the way you want to be treated..aka don’t START nuthin won’t BE nuthin.
Anyway, needless to say I divorced religion at a very young age, and now I am being forced to suffer through it every day. Sorry, but I just don’t buy what they are selling. Maybe I would be a little more impressed if they practiced what they preach. They are all I’m saved Jesus this Jesus that blah blah and then they go home and cheat on their wives or molest little boys. It’s ok though, all they have to do is repent on their death bed and that ticket upstairs stays reserved. I know I sound like a bad person and I probably am. All I can do is be honest about it because truthfully speaking I don't know what I believe in. I don't believe the theory that at first there was just a bunch of dead space then BANG here we are causing trouble. I definitely don't believe in the ape theory that's just retarded. I guess the only thing I truly believe in is that none of us know jack about what really happened, and if their is a supreme being its nothing we can conceive. One thing is for sure there has to be a purpose for it all. There is way too much beauty in the world for this all to happen by accident. I’m surprised I haven’t burst into flames already walking through the front door of the church with my way of thinking. If they only knew that they are wasting their time on me. Their sermons can't lift the curse that has been on me my whole life because there is no salvation for the eternally damned. However, I guess I’ll let them try as long as they have that hot meal, shower, and bed waiting for me at the end of their long-ass service. Why can’t church be like an episode of Seinfeld or something. Deliver the message in about 30 minutes coupled with a few laughs and a commercial break or two and then hit the credits. I don't want to be too harsh, though. I have seen it do some good. If it is cause for a crackhead to stop doing crack or an alcoholic to quit drinking then I say go for it. What have you got to lose. Anyway, it's time for me wrap up this whinefest..I’m going to be late for church.