Monday, October 17, 2011

Bus Stories

Sleep With One Eye Open

 Sometimes (especially on the longer trips) I like to find myself a nice little spot in the far rear corner of the bus, and either set up the kickstand or lean my head against the window to catch a few Zzzs.  This time it met with an unexpected twist.  When I reopened my eyes there was this weird looking little guy with thick glasses (Asian I think) sitting right next to me.  This was already getting weird because proper etiquette would suggest that if the bus is already empty then the best place to find a seat is NOT RIGHT NEXT TO ME.   On top of that he had a gigantic kool-aid smile on his face and absolutlely refused to break his gaze.  I mean I could practically see the twinkle in his eyes.  I had to know what the heck was so fascinating about me that he just couldn't turn away or even BLINK.  So I asked him what his deal was..  "Can I touch you..something"..I couldn't quite make out what he was saying the first time around but I just knew it wasn't what I thought it was so I asked him to repeat it.."Can I touch your d!ck?"


Thankfully, this is the new me and not the old one otherwise he would have quickly been on the receiving end of a swift concussion.  However, I am currently attempting this new found path to enlightenment, and I am pretty sure that breaking someone's face is not on the list of things to do to get there.  So I politely responded with "HELL NO!" as I added some real estate between us.  Then of course, there was the awkward silence for the rest of the trip.  This is a great city, but there are definitely some strange people here.  Just another crazy day in L.A.

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