Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Love Is Blind

 This topic stems from a conversation with my Pepperdine pals at SOS and is not at all my favorite subject. I asked for their general wisdom and in turn they asked for mine which is only fair. The only wisdom I could generate was to forget about my wisdom. First off, being that I am a hobo it is pretty evident that wisdom is not my forte. Second, people are always going to try and give you advice and it's okay to take from it what you can, but when it comes down to it always do you what you feel calling you deep down in your soul. Those people don't have all the pieces to the picture. So even when they are standing right next to you, they are not going to see what you see. In the end, noone can walk in your shoes except YOU. The source of this wisdom digs up some of the past of which I rarely choose to dwell on because it requires too much effort to sift through a sh!tload of pain just to uncover anything remotely noteworthy. A nomad was in love once.. yep it happened. I was struck and struck hard. So hard that it brought me to my knees. In fact, there is still some residual discomfort even writing about it in this blog. It was a rocky relationship because we were still young and ultimately I chose to listen to my friends and let go of the one person in this world that I have ever been able to truly connect with. This in turn spurred a whirlwind of high-octane drug and alcohol abuse that spiraled out of control, tipping the first domino into a cascading effect of misery and reckless self-destructive behavior that systematically ripped my entire life to shreds.. of which I have only myself to blame. It's not their fault for giving the advice, but mine for blindly accepting it. It was a decision based purely on emotion, without the benefit of intellect..and one of my lifelong regrets. About a decade has passed, and I have since found her to be irreplaceable. Although I have pretty much moved on, I have never been able to truly open my heart the same way ever again..and probably never will. A common phrase your friends will be armed with while attempting to steer you is that there are "plenty of fish in the sea..", but if the kind you are searching for is of a rare breed then there is no guarantee that you will find another like it..
..that was my bit of general wisdom. That and while you are in college party like rock stars because after school it's all downhill, baby.

9 comments:

  1. Thanks for commenting on my blog and letting me find out yours. It's such a well written blog. I love it :)

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  2. Thank You. I really appreciate the compliment.

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  3. Yep I can somehow relate...I've always overprioritised the brain, and ignored heart and GUT. Sometimes the only way to learn is the hard way...But I feel like the walls erected out of trauma and everything else that binds you can fall...I have learnt in a very compelling way...that saying "THE TRUTH SETS YOU FREE" :D

    You discover it at that point where you admit you can't be self sufficient...or that it is getting you nowhere. When you seek you will find...eventually! ;)

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  4. So true. It can be difficult to let go of over-analyzing, especially if one is logical by nature. Not to mention lending yourself to instinct is just a damn scary thing to do. I guess sometimes you just have to close your eyes, dive into the deep end, and then see what happens. Sink or swim.

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  5. I honestly always thought that men think that there are plenty of fish in the sea, so throwing one back, even if it's one they really love and felt was irreplaceable, wasn't a big deal to them. It's enlightening to read that statement coming from a man: "About a decade has passed, and I have since found her to be irreplaceable."

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  6. I'm looking at your bucket list-

    I've always wanted to travel to Brazil, and even live there for a year or two. Portuguese is a beautiful language that I'm trying to teach myself. :)

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  7. Don't worry not all men are scum..just most of us ;)

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  8. How did you manage to move on? What gave you the strength to keep walking? I ask because I lost someone recently and everything feels like crap, right now.

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  9. Long answer: Find a REALLY good f'in' hobby and stick with it. Eventually time heals all wounds.

    Short Answer: Your screwed, Bud. That's why love sucks.

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