Friday, November 25, 2011

Ode to the Lone Wolf

  Sometimes, the lone ranger bit gets kind of old, especially during this time of the year. I will definitely be glad when it's all over because the holidays are a really tough time to be a drifter. Everything is closed, no real family or significant other to speak of to share my experiences with, just a lone drifter and his notepad wandering aimlessly about without direction or purpose. While everyone else is celebrating with their families and loved ones eating fabulous dinners and decorating indoor trees, here I am sitting on a park bench by my lonesome eating a crispy dried out granola bar. I might as well adopt a stray mouse and give it a pet name like "Mr. Jangles" to complete my lameness. To think I still have two more major celebrations to survive.. Christmas and the oh so dreaded New Years, a burning reminder of how painfully long 365 days in year can actually be. I think if I can at least make it through that one without plummeting into a bottomless pit of deppression I will be home free. Things will finally go back to normal and I can focus on something other than my own personal misery and solitude. I still feel like I am recovering from the wake of Thanksgiving. I wish I could find something to be thankful for but it is just too much of a struggle, for myself anyway.  So, since I don't want to be completely without hope I guess I will be thankful that others more deserving have something to be thankful for. Like my buddies in Malibu who are blessed enough to have never found this lifestyle. Even though I cannot share their adventures with God, I'm still thankful that he has shown them the way to the joy and happiness that they absolutely deserve. I'm thankful that my "Peppies" have the opportunity to take a break from their studies to reunite with their familes that live so far away. I know that they miss them, and when they return the visit will rejuvenate them and give them the strength and will to tackle another semester. I'm also thankful that my friends in San Diego still have each other, and get to see one another on a regular basis. I'm glad to see that some bonds never break, because they really do seem inseparable. I can't forget my friends on the East coast either, with all of their having babies and getting married and such. I'm thankful for that too even though I know that they will eventually have to leave our friendship behind to be devoted husbands, wives, mommies, and daddies. I guess when I think about it, I do have some things that I am thankful for..the opportunity to have met such good people that I can call friends. I'm glad that they are happy and living their lives without any real pain or suffering as it was meant to be. I wish that I could be with them, but I know that is not possible. If my bad karma were to ever bring misfortune to the people that I care about, I don't think that I could ever forgive myself. Therefore I walk alone. I'm not sure for how far or for how along, I just keep walking..taking it one step at a time.

14 comments:

  1. I'm sure the people you care about are also thankful for having met you. And keeping away to protect someone is much more noble than the holiday hypocrisy many families perpetuate.
    Smile when you walk; sooner or later there's always a pretty girl around the corner.
    cheers!

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  2. Heh, I'll keep that in mind. Hopefully, she will be into sunsets and wandering drifters ;)

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  3. I always find it strange that a so called drifter has such access to internet and technology...wow it is costly here to even have a meagre service!!!

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  4. hmmm lol i bet it sounds old but take refuge in the Lord and you shall be wanting of nothing...actually i often walk home late at night and I always feel like he is keeping me safe...actually yesterday I had a real sense that one of his angels was walking me home the entire way on my right hand side...i could almost sense big fluffy wings sometimes brushing my arm...it was pretty cool!

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  5. I found this cool new service that allows me access to the internet for free. It's called the "library" ;) Believe it or not there is one in just about every town that you go to.

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  6. Wow, sounds to me like you have a true Guardian Angel. I need one of those.

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  7. believe it or not we have such backwaters in my country that even to use the net at "the library" will cost ya...and it's not cheap! I have been to towns where it was $5an hour and that was for a crappy dated computer with crappy modem speeds...NO KIDDING! so feel sorry for the drifters that live in my country!! LOL

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  8. well you an ask Jesus for anything ;) i was going to end it DUH but decided not to be rude, hahaha

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  9. Anonymous12/02/2011

    I agree with Zz. I think there is something bogus about this blog. Just a feeling I have.................

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  10. 5 bucks an hour wow what a rip-off. I would get an aircard before I did something like that. The whole point of the library is free access to the public, to me that's just ridiculous. The only places I've seen where you have to pay for wireless are certain franchise coffee shops and bookstores like Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles, etc. Bars, burrito shops, restaurants, libraries, everywhere else is free. You might need a library card but that's about it.

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  11. you can say DUH, dear it's ok I don't bruise easy. Just like the post-a-comment says "write anything you want"

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  12. @Anonymous lol you are one persistent heckler. At first I had no clue what you were talking about, but then after sitting back a looking at all of this stuff I guess I can kinda see how it would look strange to you guys. I'm looking at my own blog and can't believe all of this crap is happening to me..but it is.

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  13. Think of it as your own big house, in this universe we're all connected. you're not alone in this journey. some people just decide to stay in one place and "settle" with the wife, the kids and "Mr Jangles" and some like us decide to drift. it's a beautiful world where we live in, all you have to do is put on your happy shades. keep on drifting and smiling along the way. follow your heart wherever you go, and don't ever ever ever pay $5 for internet access. lol

    Great energy!

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  14. I like your outlook. It's nice to find people that can relate.

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