Sometimes, the lone ranger bit gets kind of old, especially during this time of the year. I will definitely be glad when it's all over because the holidays are a really tough time to be a drifter. Everything is closed, no real family or significant other to speak of to share my experiences with, just a lone drifter and his notepad wandering aimlessly about without direction or purpose. While everyone else is celebrating with their families and loved ones eating fabulous dinners and decorating indoor trees, here I am sitting on a park bench by my lonesome eating a crispy dried out granola bar. I might as well adopt a stray mouse and give it a pet name like "Mr. Jangles" to complete my lameness. To think I still have two more major celebrations to survive.. Christmas and the oh so dreaded New Years, a burning reminder of how painfully long 365 days in year can actually be. I think if I can at least make it through that one without plummeting into a bottomless pit of deppression I will be home free. Things will finally go back to normal and I can focus on something other than my own personal misery and solitude. I still feel like I am recovering from the wake of Thanksgiving. I wish I could find something to be thankful for but it is just too much of a struggle, for myself anyway. So, since I don't want to be completely without hope I guess I will be thankful that others more deserving have something to be thankful for. Like my buddies in Malibu who are blessed enough to have never found this lifestyle. Even though I cannot share their adventures with God, I'm still thankful that he has shown them the way to the joy and happiness that they absolutely deserve. I'm thankful that my "Peppies" have the opportunity to take a break from their studies to reunite with their familes that live so far away. I know that they miss them, and when they return the visit will rejuvenate them and give them the strength and will to tackle another semester. I'm also thankful that my friends in San Diego still have each other, and get to see one another on a regular basis. I'm glad to see that some bonds never break, because they really do seem inseparable. I can't forget my friends on the East coast either, with all of their having babies and getting married and such. I'm thankful for that too even though I know that they will eventually have to leave our friendship behind to be devoted husbands, wives, mommies, and daddies. I guess when I think about it, I do have some things that I am thankful for..the opportunity to have met such good people that I can call friends. I'm glad that they are happy and living their lives without any real pain or suffering as it was meant to be. I wish that I could be with them, but I know that is not possible. If my bad karma were to ever bring misfortune to the people that I care about, I don't think that I could ever forgive myself. Therefore I walk alone. I'm not sure for how far or for how along, I just keep walking..taking it one step at a time.
When people ask me where I'm from that's always a tough one. The only response I have is.. nowhere. True, it sounds like a cop out but it's the only answer that I can deliver. All over is where I'm from and I doubt that's going to change because the list continues to grow. Born in Downtown Los Angeles, my journey from youth to present includes NJ, NC, GA, VA, KY, NY, NV, etc...even a little trip to Tijuana (definitely going back) and now full circle back to L.A. I sometimes dream of the American Dream: A house, wife, couple kids, a white picket fence, maybe even a dog named Spike. But the reality is that those things are beyond the scope of my reach. I'm a Nomad..this is my way of life.