Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Unplugged

  As time passes, I find myself becoming increasingly detached from the trends of modern society. The only real things I keep up with these days are sports and news. I try to catch my favorite football team in a bar or something when I can, although it's hard to stay motivated to do that when they are always getting their butts kicked. I could care less about politics. I try to keep up with the News just so I'm not completely lost in the world. Sometimes, it can be somewhat liberating living free of certain shackles that tend to weigh people down. However..

There are certain things that I do miss..

I often try to remember what it was like to sink myself into a nice plush couch and just veg out, in full command of my very own entertainment. At the helm, a conveniently placed remote control at my fingertips with 40+ channels at my disposal. I think of something like that and it seems so faded, like a distant memory struggling to hold on to it's own existence.

I've had to make a few sacrifices..

I have no idea what sitcoms are popular on TV nowadays. Everything I am wearing from head to toe (save my lucky cap) is a donation right down to the socks and underwear, so needless to say I have absolutely no sense of style or fashion. I'm hanging on by a thread in communication with an antiquated cell phone that half the time has a signal and the other half a dead battery. My only other connection would be the internet which is limited to library use and of course this blog which I seem to have become strangely addicted to posting to. I guess I feel like if (who am I kidding, at this rate might as well say when) something happens to me I will at least be survived by a few ramblings on the internet and not fade into complete nothingness.

I'll be the first to admit that I am not quite up-to-date. However, even though I may not be fully in-tune, I'm not completely oblivious.

  I sometimes wonder if people confuse drifter with hillbilly. Since I don't have a home I should instead have a few missing teeth and be ignorant of simple technologies like an ipod and com-pu-tor. I can't really get offended by it, though. I think back to when I had a normal life and I could say that I have been guilty of the same shortsightedness. For a brief moment in time I lived a life of stability. I had it all figured out (or so I thought). A great job with my very own secretary and some really nice employees. My own place. Two cars. A beautiful girlfriend with whom I was very much deeply in love with and destined to marry. I had considered myself somewhat settled and completely turned my back on the nomad life, even to the point where homeless people were an eyesore and I treated them badly. I had become invincible. Then I made some really bad choices and that world fell apart like a house of cards, forcing me to actually become the very thing I once despised. It's funny how karma has a way of teaching you a lesson. Maybe all of those weird curve-balls that you never see coming (but smack you in the face like a ton of bricks) are somehow meant to jolt you to reality and bring you back down to Earth when you've got your head in the clouds. Through all of the perils I have faced, as well as the people I have met, my entire outlook has changed. I see things a lot differently now as opposed to the way I used to then. Perhaps now with a little more compassion, something I sorely lacked in my former life. Although I am not entirely thrilled with the conditions under which I came to wander, the changes that I have undergone in the process were probably necessary ones. I've definitely become more appreciative of kindness. A heart that is giving should never be taken for granted. I've also learned to focus more on what is really important in life instead of letting trifling issues get the best of me, although sometimes we are only human. Unfortunately, my new-found wisdom came at pretty steep price, namely becoming poor as hell, but I brought that one on myself. It's all a part of life I guess. You've got to take the good with the bad. I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am never going to be a person with a whole lot of riches. That ship has sailed. At this point the goal is simple, to allow whatever small fragment of my life I have left to be lived the way it was meant to be..

free and happy.

7 comments:

  1. Timeless Enchantments12/16/2011

    I think you're on to something here, Nowhere Man....karma, life, chance, or fate, whatever you want to call it, always teaches us what is really important and finding it out the hardway, is sometimes how some of us must learn it.
    Keep your head up! 
    I too have lived allover the place, and when people ask me where I'm from, I always say I was born *here* but lived *here* and *here* and *here*.... 

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  2. Couldn't have put it better myself.

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  3. Rachel Popa12/17/2011

    great post :] i think that, although you've faced some difficult struggles, you're at a place where you have achieved the perspective to finally search for what you've been looking for all this time

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  4. I guess sometimes you have to lose an eye to see things clearly.

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  5. I can relate to this post in a different way (spent some time on your blog and love it).  :)  When I went through my divorce last year it really woke me up to life and made me start trying to live it instead of letting my days pass me by.  Definitely not the way I wanted to learn that lesson, but I am better for it now.  We got back together and things are so much better now.  Maybe not picture perfect, like life used to seem, but much more real.  So much better.  You have a new follower.  :)  Take care.

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  6. Thanks for the comment. I'm glad to hear that things are much better for you now and that you two were able to find your way back to each other. That it is a really difficult task to accomplish in this day and age. Sometimes, the lessons learned through hardship are the ones stay with us the longest. Congrats.

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