Thursday, May 31, 2012

Fine Dining at the Chow Hall

I remember the first time that I stepped from the chow line to procure my very own grade school-fashioned cafeteria tray and have the server sludge it with my very own delicate portion of slop. Around these parts the proper name for it would be S.O.S.
mmm..yummy slop
(Sh!t On Shingles). I had a firmly placed grimace on my face and exclaimed to myself that there was no way I was ever eating this crap again.. ever. It literally looks like someone squatted over my plate and had the most relieving thirty seconds of their life. Along side, a slice of bread in the beginning stages of the molding process (but you can usually just tear that part off and it’s fine) complimented with a cup of warm dusty brown fermented milk. Add to that a small pile of browning lettuce and you’ve got yourself a balanced diet. I don’t think you can fully appreciate a home-cooked meal until you have shoveled some of this crap into your mouth and forced it down in order to make the hunger pains subside. Something that is considerably more difficult to do while submersed in the concentrated funk of HBO and miscellaneous lingering odors that hover about which I can only categorize as “other” ; destroying any flavour that would happen to find its way into the mix and prompting that ever so slight regurgitative reflex with every gut-wrenching swallow.

However, time passes and even the most abnormal practices will eventually become commonplace. It wasn’t long before I soon found myself leading the brigade in the march to receive my daily rations. Never missing a day and always on time. It’s amazing the compromises in food selection that you will make when starvation becomes your primary motivation. What was once a look of disdain and disgust quickly turned into..

Mmmmmm...... more slop.. LET’S EAT!


  1. Nicole6/04/2012

    If you ever find yourself in the Orlando, Fl area I'll gladly cook something special for you.  What ever your little heart desire. 
    Take care,


  2. Oh, how lovely. I can't remember the last time I ate a home-cooked meal.  Eating from a real plate is truly an underrated experience.

  3. Sweet! Oh, I love home-cooked meal. I usually eat something at home, then go elsewhere. Its more delicious...


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