Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Story of a Pregnant Schizophrenic Crack Whore

When I first met this woman she looked like she had a giant balloon in her stomach that was ready to pop. Always walking around barefoot, wrapped in a blanket, resembling some sort of Flintstone character. All she would need is a giant bone to pin up that tangled web of hair and the image would be complete. Her normal diet consisted of picking up whatever filthy scraps of abandoned food that the rats didn’t happen to chase off with. She was somewhat “involved” with an acquaintance of mine who has clearly lowered his standards on women. The sad thing is that she would be a fairly decent catch if she wasn’t a crack whore, but it’s pretty evident that those days are now long gone. I guess you could say that she has become somewhat of a celebrity in these parts. Anyone will recognize her as the crazy woman running up and down the middle of the street ass-naked yelling and screaming incoherent insanities. When the officials finally caught up to her she delivered a swift kick to the crotch, at which point they strapped her in tight and delivered her straight to la la land.. only for her to check herself out the very next day and no doubt repeat the entire process. It’s sad, the deleterious effects that crack has on the mind and body. It’s one thing to make that choice for yourself, but do not make that decision for your child as well. Life is tough enough already, handicaps do not make it any easier.

Well, to whom it may concern, she did eventually have that baby. Right there on the piss-soaked sidewalk. Someone finally had a clue to call the paramedics when they saw a woman walking around covered in blood carrying a blood-soaked baby in her arms (umbilical cord attached). I see now why they call it the miracle of child birth, because it is a miracle that baby was able to survive the daily abuse that it’s mother put it through. You just can’t make this stuff up. In fact, I believe this to be the material that serial killers are made of. One day that child is going to learn of it’s true origin and it will in no way serve to boost it’s self-esteem. Maybe some things are just best left undiscovered. Just put it in a box, lock it up, and throw away the key..

Women who are nine months pregnant should not be smoking crack.


  1. Gregory Childers7/11/2012

    Sad day. 

  2. Lou Littlemissliza Maloney8/02/2012

    What a powerful piece of writing. The words you use describes the context and unfortunately because of the world we live in I can use my own imagination to fill in the blanks regarding the other details. Very sad.

  3. And yet I still feel like there is no amount of verbiage to truly describe it.


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